Thoughts and blessings

Thoughts...

I have so many thoughts swirl in my head when its a Saturday night at 1am and I am alone. I can always clear my head when I go run, buts its not summer and Its cold! 

I do not understand how you can love someone with all your heart and want to stat a family with them, but not feel fufilled like a Nicholas Sparks novel is. There is no real life book to help out with the heart though. You have to get hurt, cry, and be wildly in love in order to figure that out. I am blessed to have a best friend in life and not just a fake relationship

I do not understand how someone can have a child and not be a parent. How they can be there to listen but never really care. If its not about them then they will not care.They grew up being a selfish child and grew into the  It takes a lot to be a parent and to give your child your whole heart and life, but some people will never be capable of doing that. I am blessed by learning from that parents mistake and I will be the best mother that a girl needs.

I do not understand the meaning of the word friendship. I grew up in a town when friends were as disposable as my jeans skirts. The friends I had in highschool I though were my whole world. I would be the best friend to someone then one simple event or person would happen and my life would be changed. I am not saying I was the most loyal or best of person when it came to friendship but I would not treat a friend the way mine did. I did not have the luxery of having best friends, I had people there to listen to your latest drama, grab lunch, then not hang out with them for months. Since the fifth grade it was the exact same cycle. I am blessed though to have found meaning to friendship when I got the hell out of that town.